One Less Fat Lecherous Liberal Drunk

So Teddy Kennedy died.

I suppose one is obligated to offer some comment when someone as historically significant as Theodore Kennedy passes. But really, what is there to say? His politics were a detriment to the health of his country. He partook in the most vile sort of partisan ad hominem and bile over the course of his career. His personal behavior was beyond repugnant. He was a fat, lecherous liberal drunk who got away with murder.

I realize I'm speaking ill of the dead, and perhaps some of my recent tweets were beyond the pale. Or maybe not. I'll reprint them here for your consideration:






Ted Kennedy got kicked out of Harvard for cheating, and was let back in. Ted Kennedy left a girl to drown in 7 feet of water and didn't report it for over ten hours. Ted Kennedy led the inquisitions against Supreme Court nominees Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas. About his political views, I don't have much to say. He was a liberal, I'm not, we had mutually exclusive views about what is good for the country. I can't really damn him for not agreeing with me. But there are liberals out there like Joe Lieberman, or like the late Sen. Paul Simon, who hold or held views that I think are wrong and harmful for the country, and yet at the same time are not utter douchebags as people.

A final thought about Chappaquiddick and the sad short life of Mary Jo Kopechne. If I were to drive off a bridge at night, and plunge into a body of water, I can't honestly say what I would do as the water rushed in and as panic immediately ensued. In fact, there is a stretch of road near my house where the curb comes perilously close--a mere 5 feet away--from a small lake. Many times as I've driven along that stretch I have prayed and asked God that if anything were to happen as either my wife or I were driving our minivan with our three kids in the back--and our van plunged into that lake--that God would give my wife or me the grace, courage and wherewithal to get everyone out safely. I've never been underwater inside a car at night; and never having been in that situation, while I can chest pound and talk tough all I want, the fact of the matter is I can't guarantee what I would do.

But I'm pretty sure of this: If I were in that car with a woman who was not my wife, and if I was drunk as a skunk, and if I then went about trying to cover and obfuscate and create a story to save my own skin while the girl's corpse was sitting trapped in a car underwater... Well, let's just say at the very least I would recognize that it was the end of any hopes I had ever harbored for a career in public service.

But truthfully, I don't see myself, in that situation, stopping there. Because while I am a flawed human being, and while I do screw up a lot, I have this thing called a conscience. And I think that had I not damn near killed myself trying to get that girl out of the water, and failing at that, had not immediately contacted law enforcement to report what I had done, well, let's just say the next time I got into my car, I might have been sorely tempted to first close the garage door and snake a hose from the exhaust pipe through driver's side window.